


Self-Defense with Slytherins

by genetically_awesome, kendallnicola



Series: Wifi Makes its Way to Hogwarts [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 2015 - Freeform, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Lots of it, M/M, Nasty Freestyle - T wayne, Post War, Twerking, do the whip, doin the naynay, draco is twerking, funny as shit, harry does the whip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 08:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4093642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genetically_awesome/pseuds/genetically_awesome, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kendallnicola/pseuds/kendallnicola
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Headmistress McGonagall throws open the giant painting to Slytherin dorms just as a new song begins. "FIRST LET ME HOP OUT THE MOTHER FUCKING PORCHE!" Or the one where McGonagall catches Professors Malfoy and Potter teaching things that are not that pertinent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self-Defense with Slytherins

**Author's Note:**

> My sister and I thought this was too funny not to share with the internet. It was like midnight, maybe too many giggles. Possibly we had a lil to much Mexican food. (it affects us, man.)

It was a cool fall day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in October 2015. The only thing heard throughout the halls were the clinking of house elves cleaning and a low, rhythmic thumping. 

The click of Headmistress McGonagall's heels was muffled by the sound of the thumping bass coming from the dungeons, or more popularly known as the Sytherin dorms. Snape trailed behind her, trying to keep up, with his long coat flapping in the wind. As soon as McGonagall reached the large painting that sealed the Slytherin dorms she threw the password loudly at it.

"Potter's gay for Malfoy." McGonagall smirked at the new password she told the prefects to change it to. Snape let out a sound close to a giggle but was more like a creaking chair. McGonagall threw open the giant painting just as a new song begins.

"FIRST LET ME HOP OUT THE MOTHER FUCKING PORCHE!" Everyone in the room chanted the words as they came out of a large, levitating speaker. Lights were flashing, confetti was falling, bass was thumping, and it seemed as though Draco was humping a wall. 

In reality he was twerking.

Harry was facing the door and bouncing to the music with his eyes closed. He did the whip, taking turns with each hand. After a few times he turned to the seventh year Syltherins and told them what they were doing wrong. Draco was instructing a few girls and Neville how to twerk on a wall. Ron was getting down with Hermione behind the DJ table. McGonagall looked appalled and Snape looked furious.

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy! What, in the name of Merlin, are you two doing?!" Harry turned to Draco and Draco turned to Harry with fear written on their face. All of the lights and bass stopped simultaneously and every seventh year froze in fear. Neville fell of the wall and Hermione took three large steps away from Ron. 

"Ah, Headmistress, we were just-um-teaching-um... Draco, honey, what are we teaching exactly?" Draco, who was starting to relax a bit then stood straight like his father that taught him many years ago.

"Um, yes. We're teaching... self-defense?" Draco said, or should I say, asked. The young Slytherins, and that one Gryffindor in the back, nodded in agreement. McGonagall didn't look totally convinced but she would allow that excuse.

Out of nowhere it seemed Severus piped up. "Mr. Potter, I thought we had scheduled this 'self-defense' class for Wednesday?" 

"This self-defense class was already scheduled?" McGonagall asked. Draco nodded to the Headmistress. "Well then I guess we should make it mandatory then. That's right! We'll have 'self-defense' competitions every Wednesday in the great hall. House verses House." The seventh years cheered with elation and McGonagall turned to leave. Snape was already out of the door way.

"Oh, and Professors? Bring your best moves." McGonagall winked and walked out of the doorway with Snape trailing behind trying to explain everything.


End file.
